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about this website / intro
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I  grew up in Texas  . I went to school at the University of Texas at Austin  . Engraved in the main building, the Tower, as if written in the sky, is John 8:32,
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- Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free -
But neither freedom, nor the truth, comes easily. Truth is not something we can just teach each other, or accept on someone else's word. Truth, is revealed to us, gradually, over time, as we come to know and understand our lives and the lives of many others in the world. And an inevitability of that truth is that once it's revealed it can't be put back, ignored, or undone. It persists, even when it's unpopular, or inconvenient.
...and once the flames begin to catch, the winds will blow it higher...
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Straight isn't. I didn't always think this way, and it's not a theoretical concept I decided to ivent one day. For years I understood sexuality in very black-and-white terms until, over time and through travel, this Truth revealed itself to me through (at least) hundreds of people and thousands of conversations.
It is conspicuous that our country evolves in race issues, in womens' equality, and gay rights, but there remains a total public silence about the true complexity of attraction, sexuality, and love. While the reality plays out daily in dark corners and in the shadows, in public we continue to sell the the straight-or-gay myth and lack even a basic vocabulary to describe what we know about others', and our own, thoughts and desires and experiences. I genuinely believe, with all of my heart, that there's a collective social and spiritual benefit to having the full conversation in the daylight.
I'd much rather have a one-on-one conversation, and have a real exchange, than write in one direction on a website. But this isn't a niche topic. This is not rare-postcard collecting. This is Love, and the audience for that - the next generation, for example - is millions more people than I could meet in a thousand lifetimes. The audience is every last one of us. So there's a need, and a value, in having this out there.
We are ready to speak more intelligently and confidently about a fuller picture of our lives, our love, our identity, our sexual potential, our sexual urges, our experiences.
Dude, I love women, okay. It's that simple.
Awesome, hellyeah, great, me too. But here's the simple thing. Can't you love women without calling it 'straight'?
Could you let go of your straight-blankey, and love women, without calling it that?
What's that word doin for you exactly?
And if that makes you upset, or defensive, or confused
...isn't there a good possibility that this word might mean much to you than just than loving women?
Love women. Great. But love, attraction, and desire are not mutually exclusive in nature. We have a lot of energy available for these great callings. I think at our best, we love more than women.
Okay yeah sure I love you too man, I get it, but sexually I'm only attracted to women.
Well bro, no homo, and hate to push it, but gotta keep it real.
95% of guys say that, but for at least 75% of them (and that's being generous), there's something more going on, or it did once, somewhere along the way, on some level, that's more complicated than that.
"I'm 100% straight" is something that feels good to say, makes us feel secure, like clothing. And that's all it really is - something we present to the public. Something we buy (into) and put on, something we wear, like brand-name clothing. It covers up the naked reality underneath.
Sexual appetites are like any other appetite - varied, complex, and somewhat fluid as go through life and are exposed to different things.
I might love pizza - I mean really, really just love pizza.
That doesn't have shit to do with how much I might enjoy a good cheeseburger, does it?
Or maybe one night I could really go for some chinese takeout.
Or mexican and margaritas.
Oh dear, I really loved those enchiladas and topshelf ritas.
Am I still american?
Or am I mexican now?
OH SHIT, Am I an american or am I a mexican now?
Who am I???
I'm just curious.
Or maybe I'm bilingual.
No, I only liked the enchiladas cause I was drunk.
Who the fuck am I now?
You're a person who eats food.
And what food you eat shouldn't be the defining principle of your life.
Hey, I don't wanna accuse you of anything, maybe you only like pizza, you'll never like anything except pizza, you've never even THOUGHT about a cheeseburger while eating pizza, and you never will. That's terrific. I'm not here to recruit, I don't need to. Lots of people are eatin the cheeseburgers whether we about you or not.
'Straight guys' are, on whatever level, to whatever extent, attracted to each other, as well as women, and many, many, of them have acted on that at some point even though it's the last thing that ever gets talked about.
If you're gay, you come out. You get your own bars and clubs and if you like you can march in a parade. But if you like pizza and mexican food, you just talk a lot about pizza and don't say shit about the mexican food. And the reason you don't know about the mexican food is that there's a certain types of guys who can really pull this off easily:
- the good looking ones
- the christian ones
- the masculine ones
- the athletic ones
- the popular ones...
And as they pull it off, probably about 1% of them understand it, on any conscious level,
and probably about 1% of them feel good, confident, or positive about it.
Because there is no language.
There is no public example.
'straight-or-gay' offers no insight into this whatsoever.
'straight-or-gay' talks about 10% of the extremes of the population.
straight isn't. gay isn't.
We can u n l e a r n it.
Future generations can start from scratch;
They can use their names instead of 2 opposite categories.
We can be intelligent, realistic, and confident about
how we see ourselves in the world.
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The irony of course, is that the male who is genuinely comfortable in his own skin - confident that he he truly loves her and not hung up on his coolness, masculinity, or protecting and defending his straightness,
will be a hundred times better for her (and their kids) in their relationship than the guys that will post 'faggit'(sic) comments at the bottom of this page.
Who would you rather be like?
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just allow popupsand click to openany photo you want,100% spyware free.
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